My name is Colette and I'm a thirty-something stay-at-home-mom of 4 awesome kids; living it up in the quiet suburbs of Northern New Jersey with my hubs of 18 years. By all accounts, we had the quintessential "normal" life... totally living the dream. However, in early 2012 our life took a scary turn when, in the prime of his life, my hubby was diagnosed with cancer. Inoperable, Advanced Stage and aggressive where the specific words our Oncologist used to describe our new predicament. As you can imagine, the "normal" we knew and loved (and took for granted) disappeared over night and uncertain chaos and despair took it's place.
Our "new normal" became 2 long years of appointments, scans, surgeries, chemotherapy, radiation, general craziness and finally a Stem Cell Transplant in NYC in January of 2014. Aside from my regular mom/wife duties - I also took on the stressful role of full-time caregiver (all the while running my design business). Ha! I know. Crazy, right? I also became Nurse Colette and learned to flush lines, give shots, manage his meds, DRIVE IN NYC and do all the things he once did. As my kids can attest, I can trim a tree or clear a clogged drain like no bodies business! Through the ups and downs, I have learned to appreciate my normal and, at times even to love it. How can that be? How can I love our cancer-stricken, totally crazy NOT normal life? Well, I don't all the time. Some days are more awful than you can imagine... and I'd far prefer to pull the sheets over my head then to face it. BUT... what I DO love, is how this experience has forced me to grow and become stronger. I love how it has fortified relationships with those who have intimately helped us carry our burden. I love how it has increased my faith and truly made me rely on something greater than myself. I love that I've learned to take life a day at a time - to appreciate what's in front of me. I love the visits we get, the sweet phone calls and the amazing offers of help and service. There is so much good in the world and we've been the recipient of so much of it. When I focus on the good that has come out of it... it's not hard for me to believe we are one of the luckiest, most blessed families on Earth.
It's been a tough couple of years, but it has been glittered with hope and weaved with miracles. I don't know that I'll ever understand why Eric got cancer, TWICE (we beat it the first year, only for it to come back). I don't know why it's been such an uphill battle... but I do know that the days I handle "our normal" the best, are the days I choose to face it, the days I choose to accept it, and most importantly, the days I choose to love it. God gave me "this normal" - if I let myself be calm, I start to see that it's a beautiful normal and it's mine to make it into something that enriches my life and the life of my family. It's up to me to embrace it; it's up to me to be grateful for it. It's a choice I have to make over and over, every day. I've started this blog to continue my quest to love my normal and hopefully along the way, to spread the message that your "normal" (however chaotic or not-normal it might be)... doesn't have to be perfect to be wonderful.
Much love...
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