The Parable of the Quarters

During the middle of Eric's second battle with cancer, we wrote this "parable" to help our friends and family know how much we appreciated their "quarters"...

Think of your average, normal person.  Imagine this person wakes up everyday and has a fresh roll of quarters waiting for them on their nightstand.  Throughout the day, this roll of quarters represents how much they have to spend on energy and choices.  It's not an unlimited supply, but is very ample to cover the things they need to do as well as many of the things they want to do.  At bedtime, the roll might be gone - but rest assured, when they awake, a fresh new roll will be waiting.  On occasion, when a cold or the flu arrives, they may wake up with a few less quarters to spend and they will need to change their choices accordingly.

Think of a cancer patient, or maybe anyone with a long-term or terminal illness, handicap or ailment.  Imagine this person wakes up everyday to a fresh roll of nickles, roughly 20% of that of a normal person.  Throughout the day, this roll of nickles represents how much they can spend on energy and choices.  It's a very limited supply and must be spent wisely.  It's not ample to cover the things they need to do and there certainly isn't much, if any, extra available for things they want to do.  Unwisely spending on things they want to do leaves less energy for the things they need to do.   Unlike someone with a roll of quarters who has plenty to get them through the day, this person has to make tough choices to preserve as many nickles as possible just to get through the day.  Some days, it may cost several nickles just to get up, shower and eat.  They may have to skip lunch with a friend in order to have the energy to attend an important appointment.  They may have to skip a trip to run an errand or two in order to save the energy to eat dinner later that night.  There is very rarely or never enough to do even simple tasks like laundry.  When the nickles are spent, they are spent and a new roll won't be available until morning.  Sometimes they can borrow against tomorrow's energy and choices, but that will only make tomorrow more difficult.  Many times, the nickles are just gone and bed is the only place that requires no nickles.  This person feels like they never have enough and that they are constantly in the deficit, constantly looking for ways to preserve what few nickles they can to allow more energy to heal and recover.  These nickles dictate every decision, every choice and are very limiting.  It's frustrating to never have enough nickles.  When complications or additional illness arise, this is like waking up to an already depleted supply of nickles or worse, a roll of pennies instead.

Think of a caregiver.  This person wakes up to a roll of dimes and is caring for someone who only has nickles.  This supply is more limited than that of a normal person, but is more than twice as much as what a patient receives.  This person, however, is lucky when they wake up to a full roll of dimes - as during the night they have likely already dipped into their supply to care for their patient. Then, throughout the rest of the day, the remainder of the roll of dimes represents not only what they can spend on THEIR energy and choices, but also what they need to spend to cover the energy and choices the patient doesn't have enough for.   Getting through a day with a roll of dimes can be done, but only when spent very wisely.  Many wants must be cut from the day in order to provide as many dimes as possible to cover the many necessities needed to care for a patient.  Lunch dates with friends, extra shopping trips, attending a party or volunteering for a function are out of the question. Those activities would most certainly throw the budget off balance and doing so would not leave enough dimes to adequately care for the patient and would leave them in a severe deficit before the day's end.  Of course, caregivers must also prepare and save what they can for a rainy day... meaning, extra energy to handle when emergencies arise. Choices have to be made throughout the day in order to stretch and preserve their reserve of dimes.  Dimes maybe borrowed against tomorrow, but doing so too often can run a caregiver into spiraling burnout, exhaustion and emotional bankruptcy.  Loosing dimes to an illness like a cold or the flu is simply out of the question, there are not enough dimes in the day to get sick.  

This is where the beautiful blessing of kind service can rescue and replenish the inevitable deficits of energy and choices that both caregivers and patients fight against each day.  A meal brought in preserves valuable coins that can now be spent on appointments and other important necessities.  Help with a child or children also helps patients and caregivers preserve coins.  Help with housework, yard work and errands are also ways that can help patients and caregivers preserve the coins they have. Coins can even be shared by offering genuine emotional and spiritual support.  All of these things can replenish depleted coin reserves.  

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PSALMS 23:1-6 1 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. 2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.  3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. 4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.  5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. 6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.