A Lesson at Panera...

One afternoon during Eric's first year of treatment, we left early for chemo so we could grab a bite on our way.  We decided to stop at Panera and sat there eating like two, completely normal people. We chatted like any other couple, smiled at each other... and even let out an occasional giggle. By all appearances, we blended into the crowd and there was no way anyone could guess our awful predicament and circumstance. We weren't crying, we weren't upset... we were having a decent time, a normal lunch like anyone would.  At one point, I suddenly recognized how "normal" we actually looked.  Eric was bald, but he is so cute bald (okay, he's hot bald) - so who would know he wasn't bald by choice?  For a minute I felt myself pretend we weren't fighting for Eric's life or on our way to get poison pumped through his veins. It was refreshing to be in a place where people didn't tear up when they saw us, it was nice that no one hugged me and asked how we were doing - and I didn't miss the looks of pity at all.  We started enjoying ourselves, basking in our moment of - what appeared to others to be - just a normal lunch.  As we continued talking about it Eric posed a prolific question... "If we look THIS NORMAL, can you imagine what must be going on at the next table?  Or the table over there?"  Wow.  Good point.  What is it they say?  Looks can be deceiving?  Yep.  That's absolutely true.  In that moment, we looked like a happy couple - out to lunch during the week without a care in the world.  Yet, we were quite the opposite.  Full of anxiety, worry, stress with EVERY care in the world.  There we were... looking SO normal - and yet we were on our way to battle the scary invaders that had taken over our family and threatened to rob Eric of his life.  

Since that day, I've thought often about what Eric said and how we looked sitting there.  I've thought of the faces that were scattered around us and thought deeply about what might have been going on in their lives.  I imagine there were people among us that day who had lost loved ones, maybe having problems in a relationship, dealing with wayward teens or addictions.  Maybe some who were depressed, had lost a job or facing financial stresses.... yet in the disguise of a normal activity like eating lunch it would be impossible to detect.  So many of the toughest battles we face in our lives cannot simply been seen on our faces.  Wouldn't it just be safer (and kinder) to assume everyone is fighting a hard battle?  As I've practiced this, and I'm not all the way there yet... I've seen a really cool change in myself.  I'm quicker to help, faster to smile and a much less likely to judge. Most of all, I've found that it has added to my own happiness. We're all fighting battles... let's all be a little kinder, a little more quick to live the golden rule... what a difference that would make - no only in our own lives, but in the lives of others.

Image: {Here}